At a Loss.

For almost a year now from time to time I've found myself thinking about what I would write on my blog on this day. Usually I'm in the car driving past our golf course, or through the Coastal Mountains and the Howe Sound with "PaPa's song" playing, and sometimes I've thought about it just in my own quiet time. I've thought of sharing a story... sharing "PaPa's song" with you... or just sharing what he's meant to me as he's had a huge impact on the kind of father Chad is to his son Braden.

But now that the day is here... I'm at a loss.

Today is the first anniversary of Jimmy "PaPa" Ramsey's passing. I want to tell you all what a great husband, father, son, brother, grandfather and friend he was... he was all of those things and more. Writing about it here and trying to make you feel all those things won't do justice to the loss that the Ramsey family and all his friends felt on this day a year ago. Honestly, today isn't that different than any other day when you think of those close to Jimmy... they remember him every day, but today I'm saying it out loud.

Today was also the due date of the baby we lost in late August... so I've thought a lot this week what things would be like if things had turned out different. But what's meant to be is meant to be and I'm completely at peace with that. But it's just something that's been on my mind.

Winterruption...

Winterruption 2009 - this isn't something clever I came up (Although if I did I would use it to describe surprisingly warm and pleasant temps that show up for a few days in the middle of winter...get it? I'm sorry, terribly lame... moving on).

So... this is the name of a festival held on Vancouver's Granville Island, and best of all - the things were FREE! Short circus show, bands, face painting, lots of kids and people all around. The weather was still quite cool, but very sunny and clear. It was a nice little family outing.

Do you see that pout? Here are fancy face painters and I couldn't convince Braden to do more than get a quick smiley face on one cheek (and only after I got it on my hand to show him). He was not interested... at all. Oh well, I tried.

Chad and his "not-so" baby boy watching the circus. This was not anything fancy, it was a small organization - and only 30 minutes, but it was entertaining enough for Braden and he was so excited to be at "Circus... Yay!"

Granville Island is where I've taken Braden to get his hair cut a few times, they have a nice place just for kids. Braden's hair was growing over his ears and annoying Chad so we stopped in. They got a new Thomas the Train chair and Big B was a big fan.

Nothing like getting treated to an Ice Cream Cone on the big family day out!

Smiles in a basket

In case any of you need a pick-me-up, and a smiling toddler is your sort of medicine, here are a few shots of Big B playing in a basket... the little things that bring them happiness. Don't we all wish it was that simple when you grow up? (And the scrape under his nose.... yeah, Braden totally wiped out in the driveway on Sunday)

Affection...

I wish I had some amazing picture to go along with this post, but since it's just me and Big B here most of the time there isn't anyone to get behind the camera and capture the special moments. I just have to brag on the kid... he's so affectionate. And I notice that his little bits of affection are increasing and just so, so precious. Hugs and kisses... that's a given. But he'll grab my face with both his hands, look me straight in the eye and say something funny and crack himself up. He'll cuddle up with me on the couch and snuggle in real tight for no reason and without warning. He initiates butterfly and nose kisses...and when he's getting ready to sleep at night... some part of him has to be touching some part of me until he's just about to fall into his nightly slumber.
I keep anticipating that he'll stop someday soon so I'm soaking it in now... and I love it. It erases all the moments of "being a two year old" that surface throughout the day. These kids I tell ya... they have it all figured out!

Reader on the Pot

I thought I'd share a glimpse into the potty training (no worries, not X-rated). Braden enjoys stripping down and settling in with a good book (Dr. Seuss books preferred) to take care of his "business" and often he'll sit down and go right away... but still want to stay there and read!!!

We've been doing...

A whole lot of nothing! That's why there really haven't been any blog posts. Braden is potty training and it's going. It's not terrible and it's not perfect. He totally get the concept, he'll take initiative on his own sometimes, but it's mostly my prompting (or nagging... I'm annoying myself with it sometimes). I have nothing else to compare it to, but I'll say that it appears it's the right time and it's beginning to work and we're sticking with it. And while it's a bit controversial (what part of parenting isn't) we are using M&Ms as treats and for our boy... it's been a big hit. We're using training pants for now so no huge, messy accidents - but I know I need to move to the big boy underpants soon enough to really push it to the next level... maybe next week.
On Valentines Day we went as a family to a nice restaurant in Squamish for lunch. We were the only ones at the place (I think it's more of a dinner place and they would be really busy that evening). But the food was great and we made it home in time for Braden's nap and spent the evening watching rented movies we picked up in town.
Chad's on a longer work trip this week and I'm doing much of the same day in and day out. We are both really anxious for nice weather. After staying pretty inactive on weekends through the winter I'm ready to head out for some excursions to enjoy this beautiful part of the world so I'm on the lookout for some fun family things to do.
That's all for now - things are a bit boring - but the weeks continue to pass quickly and I can't believe we've been here almost a year already.

Hey Mister...

To the man that was following me last night on my way home so closely (with his brights on) that I couldn't see the front of your car - You are a JERK! It was dark... on a winding two lane mountain road that is under construction... and it was raining! There were no street lights and the roads not only wind all over... the hills so up and down (did I mention this jerk had his bright on and I couldn't see because it was glaring into the back of my car). It was probably the most intense 5 to 7 minutes I've ever had behind the wheel. I had my son in the car... I was going the speed limit and it's not the easiest road to drive in the dark.... and in the rain. I never get road rage... but boy did I have some "adult only" words for him as he zoomed past me after the construction area.

What we've been up to

I am certain that our life here could be what many would be consider boring (and on some days... I would consider it boring too). But we do get out and about several times a week (in addition to the M, W, F playdate/classes). Here's a peek some of what we've been up to. We made it out to the mall with a large bookstore and children's area. Braden played about an hour while I caught up on come celebrity magazines.

Ok... proof that they will give anyone a book deal. Seriously... it's disturbing. I thought Paris "I'm a heiress, princess and only pretend to be a ditz" book was enough. Clearly, I'm dead wrong. And worse - this book wasn't in the "bargain" section. It was on the "Buzz Books" area. Maybe it doesn't bother anyone else... but it bothers me.

We live 45 minutes from the largest ski resort in all of North America - home to the Olympics next winter - Chad skis, he enjoys it and is good at it. So, while I L-O-V-E the time he's home on the weekend (he 100% is such a great help when he's here), I also encouraged him to take advantage of how close we are to Whistler - so this past Sunday he went. I told him he had to take the camera and here's what I got! :)

We hit up "Kids Zone" this week as out last big adventure out before potty training lock down. It was a good hour away, there are tons of these kind of places that direction, but that's not where we live so it makes for a whole day adventure. Above: Braden jumped onto the arcade car and thought he was pretty cool. Below: One of those jumping rooms - this one was a castle. I thought Braden would love it - he liked it alright, but he wasn't begging for more. In fact he was a bit more timid on a lot of things there. I know he's old enough, the place was full of kids his age. So either he's just not ready or I am not good and convincing him - maybe Chad would have better luck. Actually - I'm pretty sure it's me... when he was jumping around in here all I could think about was "how long until him and another kid collide heads at full speed in this jumping contraption?". It's just the way my mind works. I genuinely try to not let my silly fears rub off (do you remember how jumpy I am at the petting zoos?). The picture below is a teaser... I'm waiting until we're at least to day 3 or 4 of potty training before I really comment. I'll just say this... I've been impressed with Braden... so far. But I'm realistic and realize I could feel different a few days out which is why I'm waiting to give a report. But I couldn't wait to show off Braden in his Big Boy Underpants... little boys in their little briefs is just so so cute!!!

Buyer's Remorse

I'm a sucker... what can I say? Today at Walmart as I was cruising to the check out lane something caught my eye, it says 2 for $4... Little Debbie Treats. I don't think I've actually purchased anything like this since high school... seriously. So what made me stop... and fall for the 2 for $4 ploy (I mean... is that even a good deal? For all I know they are $2.50 a box not on sale). So now I have these TWO (it's even worse I was "tricked into getting two instead of just one) boxes at the house. I don't need them... I don't need to give them to Braden (the kid needs NO sugar). This is not one of my finest moments. Oh well... I guess the best thing I can do now is AVOID looking at the nutritional (or non-nutritional) information on the box to pretend it's not as bad. Oh... and when did Oatmeal Cream Pies get to be two-bite sized? When I was a kid I thought they were much bigger!!!

Here. We. Go.

It's go time... Braden is starting some "hard core - no turning back" potty training. I was going to start tomorrow, but when he woke up from his nap he seems ready to go. I'm sure I'll be posting more about this milestone as we work together through this process. I think he's ready... but am I???

Sit back and relax...

This will be a long post. It's a total recap of our trip back to Illinois, and a trip to New Orleans. We'll see how this goes...

Monday, January 5th, 2009

I wake up in the morning and I can't get up. My head is pounding, my nose is beyond stuffed up, my eyes are watering, I'm coughing and my body just will. not. move. It's official, I'm sick and it couldn't have come at a worse time. Our New Years Eve visitors left the day before and the house is a semi-disaster, I'm on a deadline for my work project, I have to pack and do laundry because on Wednesday we're leaving for Illinois and all I can think about is that I hope to get better quick because I'm supposed to meet Baby Jack Hager on Thursday and cannot be sick. Feeling this bad also makes me really, really sad that stay-at-home moms don't get sick days, I really needed one. Chad did what he could and was home an hour early, which was nice - but it really just gave me an extra hour to finish that work project. (It's possible that my body being so UNBELIEVABLY sore was also because I had played Wii boxing against Chad and I took it far too seriously... how sad an interactive video game could do that to me - note to self - I really need to working out).

Tuesday, January 6th

Wow... I can't believe I felt so bad yesterday. Now, I'm not feeling tip top - but a major improvement. I'm optimistic that I'll be ok to see Baby Jack and finish up all the laundry and pack everything Braden and I need for two weeks... in ONE suitcase, I'm impressed. (Turns out this wasn't such a great idea... but I'll elaborate on a later post).

Wednesday, January 7th

Time to go... still feeling just "so-so". It looks like I won't be visiting Katie and Baby Jack on Thursday, but I tell myself that maybe by Friday it will be ok. (Fast-forward - it won't). We have a layover in Seattle, it's a long day of travel - but Braden is a rock star. I wish I could say the same for myself. In the middle of the second flight I feel the pressure building again, hit with a pounding headache and stuffed up nose - uh oh - SINUS INFECTION. By the end of the flight I can't even move my head without tears coming to my eyes. To pick up things on the floor of the airplane I have to sit in the aisle and lean in - turning my head upside down is NOT an option. Thankfully we were the last row so we didn't hold anyone up. Staci and Jason greet us at the airport and bring us back to their house (aka - our "home base" for the duration of our trip). Eventually we go to bed.

Thursday, January 8th

This day was supposed to be spent at Katie's, but with my sickness it's clear that isn't happening, so we hang out at Staci's and try to rest and relax.

Friday, January 9th

Take Braden to Homewood, he's going to stay with my mom and my uncle while I am off to New Orleans for Layne and Mitzi's wedding. I wake up sicker than the day before, I'm hanging by a thread! Another afternoon I could have seen Baby Hager... but can't since this sinus infection is ruling my life. I have a late flight to New Orleans, supposed to land at 10:15, but due to some de-icing issues at O'Hare we take off late. I get to the Big Easy at nearly midnight. My hilarious husband that is meeting me there from Vancouver thinks I'm going out to mingle. But after another 2 hours in the air my sinus infection is at an entirely new level. I didn't think it was possible. I finally get to the hotel and to sleep around 1:30, wake up at 4:30 thinking I have pink eye... but no... it's just the sinus infection - coming out of my eyes!

Saturday, January 10th

The reason we're here for the big celebration!!! (I'm feeling a tad... just tiny bit better). The wedding is not until the evening so Chad, Keith (Chad's brother) and I take a nice walk over to the French Quarter where we get some lunch. While we're eating... down Bourbon St in the middle of Saturday afternoon is a marching band!

Keith, me and Chad enjoying the afternoon at Pat O'Brien's outdoor garden. It was 84 and sunny... why don't I live in the south? (yet).Chad and Keith on a major road, lots of people were out. Warm weather has such power, people are out and about... and happy.

On to The Main Event... congratulations to Layne and Mitzi Court! You looked fabulous and could see how happy you both were. Thanks for inviting us to New Orleans, it was great to see some of this historic city (with lots of traditions and pride). Layne and Mitzi live in Dallas and recently moved into their new house, I know they will have lots of great memories from this weekend as well as creating many more! :)

Layne and his best man Ben. Ben and Chad went to high school together and when I moved to Dallas Chad introduced me to his cousin, Layne and friend, Ben (who had not met before). We had a great time together and now more than 6 years later look at them! :)

You may now kiss the bride!

The adorable flower girls, sisters Reece and Addison with their dad, Chad

The Ramsey Boys with their mom, Paula

Sunday, January 11th

Chad and I both have early, early flights back to Chicago and Vancouver. (So early that when we're leaving the hotel at 4:30 we are seeing friends from the wedding just ending their night). After a long plane ride, then a train to Homewood I'm finally back to my little guy and borrow my uncle's car for the rest of the week so we can continue our journey.

Monday, January 12th

We leave for Bloomington to visit Keith and the three kids! We have not since Kylie (2 1/2) and the twins, Logan and Jackson (11 months) since August. Braden had SO much fun playing with his cousins. It makes me sad that they don't get to spend more time together.

Keith with his boys laying on the couch!

After bath time, Kylie and Braden brush their teeth

Braden and Kylie share her Dora couch for some unwinding and video time

So many things about this picture... first of all, I just think it's so precious. Second - these two cousins could pass for siblings!

Tuesday, January 13th
Happy Birthday to Grandma Ramsey! We left Bloomington in the morning and got back to Chicago, where Braden successfully avoided taking his afternoon nap (Oh joy!). I'm still sick as a dog and it occurs to me that maybe my old doctor in Chicago would be willing to call in a prescription of antibiotics for me... score! That evening we went over to Lisa's place in the city so Braden and her could visit.

Wednesday, January 14th

Off to DeKalb to visit friends Jen and Kyle Guymon (and our wedding album is ready to be picked up.. fun!). Still sick, but hanging in there (and sad because I am supposed to see Baby Jack on Thursday - one week later than originally planned - and while on the road to recovery, not enough that I feel ok to be around a newborn... damn this sinus infection!) Jen made a fabulous Lasagna and The Faivre's came over with their daughter Ansley. Braden played around a bit, but got a bit fussy and was asleep before everyone left. The Guymons had just had their holiday party the week before and the tree was still up. Jen got some pics of Braden... man, I wish I was a photographer like she is. Also photos of Landon "horsing" around with the kids. To check these photos, click here, Jen's Album.

Thursday, January 15th

Back to the city again, this time we arrive just in time to meet Staci and Jason as they finish their doctor's appointment (for Baby Butscher due in August)!!! We meet for lunch at one of my all time favorites, Chili's. After lunch, Staci, Braden and I head to Woodfield Mall... and guess who else is there? Katie... does that mean that FINALLY there may be a Baby Jack sighting??? YES! We arrange to meet at the mall, Katie and her mom are running errands and I tell them I'll just admire the baby from afar but would love, love to meet up! Just because I need to wear my scarf and keep a distance doesn't mean Braden will! :) Aren't those just too cute!!!

Braden and his godmother Katie pounding on the "drums"

Friday, January 16th

Wake up and it's time to get back to Homewood! Braden will be staying with my family another night while I attend the annual PJ holiday party with my friends (who so very, very kindly held it later so I could be there!). My mom has plans, so Uncle Jim is flying solo with Big B for the night and he does an awesome job, Braden is a big fan of Uncle Jim. You know who else we got to see while we were there???

That's right, my beautiful niece Raina! Braden and and Raina ran around and had a lot of fun chasing each other all over the house.

After I leave I head to Katie, with the medical mask as my aide I am coming to spend the afternoon (finally) with her and Jack. It's so precious to finally be holding this little man (and he really is little, he was still in the 5 lb range when I was there!). He's perfect and he must kind of like me too, we took a nap together on the couch while his mommy got showered... it was wonderful! Medical mask down for a second to get a glance at my huge smile while holding the little bundle. (And yes - repeat on the one piece PJs, you buy those to wear to PJ parties, so out they came again!)

About 6:30 and guests start to arrive - everyone brings some food... and man is there a lot of food!!! We do a pretty good job of putting a lot of it away though, we don't mess around. We had so much fun catching up, playing games (left, right, center - I dominated, and took home $60 profit for my effort (which was really just luck). I miss these girls terribly... and writing about here won't even do it justice.

Saturday, January 17th

I wake up to get Braden from Homewood and we head back to Staci to try and catch that afternoon nap... which eludes us again. That is until it's time for us to head out. Sure enough at 4:30 when we're leaving to go to Amy and Andy's (Big B's godfather) Braden is fast asleep. He sleeps the whole way there, and the first 30 minutes we get there. Finally he wakes up to get his birthday and Xmas gifts which includes...

Not just the Bear Helmet - a whole uniform... with shoulder pads! And Thomas the Train videos... you guys rock!

While we were there we were so lucky that 6 other friends made their way over to visit (although it was way too short)! Thanks to everyone for coming by... it was really good to see you!

From L to R (well more like a circle going clockwise, starting with Jack on the left!) - Jack, Ami, Robyn, Joel, Amy, Jeremy, Becki, Braden and Andy

From there we left to meet Staci and Jason for a yummy Italian dinner near their house. Only sleepy "I don't need my afternoon nap" Braden fell asleep on me during dinner! I was able to eat and we enjoyed the meal.

Sunday, January 18thHmmm... breakfast! We went out with our extremely kind, generous and patient host and hostess for a Sunday morning meal. Jason and Staci - Thank you both so much for being so wonderful during this trip... we borrowed your car, we took over the house for nearly two weeks and you were amazing! I am so so stoked for Baby Butscher!

That evening we made another visit to The Hagers. Braden was a bit jealous of my loving on Baby Jack! But all went well and after missing out on so much planned time since I was sick I was so glad to squeeze in another visit. Baby Jack and I had a good talk and even though he won't remember me yet... I let him know I think of him everyday!

Monday, January 19th

We are headed home. It's been a good trip (minus the sinus infection that plagued me the entire first week). I only wish we had more time since there were still so many people to see. Although it was nice to get home and rest in our own beds.

So... are you tired of reading? I'm pretty tired of typing and now that I'm done I'm pretty sure I would not take this approach to a vacation blog again, but live and learn.

Ringing in...

We were so lucky this year to have 7 people come and visit us for the New Years Eve holiday! Paul and Steph (from Chicago and St. Louis - now live in Seattle), Chris and Pam (from Peoria and Chicago) and Nick, Lindsay and Graham Underwood (did live in Chicago, now in St. Louis - Graham "Gray" is their adorable son who is now 8 months old).

Everyone arrived on New Years Eve we had appetizers, a 30th birthday (ice cream) cake for Pam, and adult cocktails. The night was spent with games, Wii, and good conversations.

New Years Day, Olson (Chris) whipped up a fancy breakfast and we spent a lazy day recovering. That night the Underwoods made a fabulous meal for dinner and we finished off by playing games (but don't mess with Olson and his rules of consistency for Scattegories).

The next day the group (minus me, Braden, Lindsay and Graham) were off to Whistler for a day of skiing and snowboarding. I hear the weather was perfect, the snow was great - but most of the group realized just how much older we are getting and weren't that sad when the slopes closed at 4pm. They spent the night and gave a good effort at the bars that night (good for as tired as they were). Lindsay and I bundled up the kids and went to Whistler too so they could see the village and grab some lunch. Things ALMOST went smoothly - but not so much. First of all - SO much snow on the ground - we couldn't really stroll around the village - and just before we were getting ready to park the car for lunch - my little guy completely tossed his cookies (actually grapes if you really want to know) all over him, the car seat and his jacket. He was find afterwards, so I think it's because I had him bundled with the heat on and the sun was blaring in the backseat. Lesson learned, I felt terrible. We went in for lunch and between the kids probably just 2 minutes here and there of conversation. Oh well - it was nice to get out of the house for the day. That night after the kids went to bed we curled up to Sex and the City: The Movie with some (too many) beers.

The next day everyone came back - and a snowstorm moved in and made for unsafe roads for awhile, we were lucky no accidents! We relaxed, grilled steaks for dinner and broke out the Wii again before everyone turned in and prepared for the travel day back home.

It was so wonderful for us to have friends with us to ring in the new year. Thanks to all our visitors for taking the time, money and effort to come and stay with us! (Note to other readers - you are also welcome to come - anytime - cheap flights on Southwest to Seattle!)

Our "Pink" champagne toast for midnight. Despite the unintentional sippy cup in the background - the kids were in fact asleep. Sippy cups and champagne... a sign of the times!
We decided that NYE in the house was best spent in our PJs. Above - the four guys (from L to R) - Chad, Chris (Olson), Paul (Fox), Nick (Underwood). Below are the four ladies - Steph, Pam, Lindsay and me (wearing one piece PJs). The hats the gents are wearing have continued to provide Braden with hours of endless joy and entertainment.

How do you keep beers cold when the fridge is full of food and other beverages? Stick it on the patio in a foot of snow!

Just one look at the Wii adventures. Here I'm not sure if they are playing tennis, bowling? The boxing was a big hit too.... but more on that in another post.


Pam and Nick - ready to snowboard at Whistler. It was Nick's first time, by the afternoon he made the switch to skis and managed to stay all in one piece! :)


Steph and Paul on their way up the mountain at Whistler!

Out after a long day on the slopes!
Thankfully I had put Chad's coat in the car before we left for Whistler, after Braden emptied his tummy his jacket was non-wearable, so I did what I could and put Chad's on his to get to the restaurant.
And... last but NOT least! Adorable Baby Gray!